“Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own”-unknown
When I came across this quote a few weeks ago, it hit home real hard, because for most of my life I believed that another woman’s beauty meant I was not beautiful enough.
My Miguelnd was in constant comparisons with each and every woman I came across. “She has a nice smile that’s probably why she is much prettier than I am”, “She is lighter than me”, “Her hair is sleeker than mine”, “She has a nice body”, I constantly had these thoughts running through my mind. It later evolved into me looking at what they lacked hoping to console myself, “She has ugly toes”, “Her attitude stinks, no one likes a stinking attitude” “She is too thin” I secretly became a hater of all pretty women because their beauty made me feel like mine did not exist.
In grade 8, a guy friend who had a really huge crush on a school friend of mine, felt the need to tell me that I was really cute but my friend was much more beautiful than I was and had he not met my friend he would have pursued me. Why he felt the need to disclose such information to me I will never know because him and I had nothing more than a friendship… perhaps he thought it was a way of being polite, however he made me feel like my friends beauty was the absence of my own. A similar incident made me feel like what that guy said clearly must be true…
A friend and I were walking to the house shop when a group of girls stopped us to tell my friend how beautiful she is and that they would like her to chill with them, while two girls were talking to my friend, another girl “whispered” very loudly to her friend saying “what about the other girl (me)” and they began to laugh. I don’t care who you are but as a young girl trying to find herself, things like that tend to mess with your mind.
Eventually my thoughts moved from “what makes women beautiful” and “what women lacked” to “what I lacked and why I was not beautiful”. I hated myself, I disliked looking at myself in the mirror and I often thought people were lying when they said I was beautiful.
I spent most of my high school and beginning of my varsity years searching for the answer/ remedy on how to be beautiful, I looked at what beautiful girls had in common but unfortunately I could not find the answer because the answer I was longing and searching for could only be found in me, of which I had to align my thoughts with what God thought about me.
I often questioned why God would create me and have me live a life filled with so much hatred towards myself, it honestly made no sense at all.
Psalm 139:14 says, I will praise You, for I am wonderfully and fearfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. If God’s works are marvellous; which ultimately means amazing, breathtaking, beautiful, astonishing etc. does that not mean that I the one He has created is all those things… I mean I am one of His works right?
Isaiah 43:4 says since you were precious in My sight, You have been honoured, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life. The Lord calls us precious! To be precious means to be of great value (worth).Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own”-unknown Click To Tweet
I grew tired of hating myself, I chose to make a change. I firstly had to begin with being honest with myself and God, I later challenged myself to saying something positive about myself each day, I would look at myself in the mirror every morning and tell myself I am beautiful even though I did not believe it at the time but I was determined to get out of the dark lonely place I was in.
We often forget what the word of God says about us because we do not fit the “beauty” standards the world has created, but remember, our Creator’s works are marvellous and we are His works! You are more than enough!
Article by: Shivonne N. Jood